Today is a bad day. I would love to report all was fine this morning but it’s not. Marikas dog, almost 16 years old, is not in good shape. He has been having serious problems for years but always came back from it. He is having issues with his balance, serious issues. Middle of last night he was starting to have more issues. Woke up he is unable to walk and seems to have other problems. He is going to the vet today to get checked out but I feel there is bad news in the future.
Otherwise a normal morning. Except we were not able to go workout.
Emily went to work. Marika and I were left to take care of things here. With Jaxon in bad shape, still unable to move, we are getting ready to take him to vet. Once we were dressed and vet was open we called and they said come in whenever. An open appointment. We were there on Thursday night before Jax got so bad. They were ready for our call.
On the road. It was tough loading him in the car. His vestibular disease has turned him tipsy turvy. He seems to think up is down and vice versa. He keeps trying to flip over. It’s crazy.
Arrived at the vets near 10. The vet took him in for a diagnosis. Nothing has changed since Thursday. We sat in the front room hoping for a reprieve. We get most hopeful in times of distress.
Well, vet came out and put us in a room. And then came in for the consult. Usually, I expect the vet to give a little bit of hope along with the despair. Today, not much hope and a large dose of despair. She discussed his current condition, and his prognosis. His future is bleak. More than bleak. I can see the writing on the wall, the dog is done. Marika understood quite clearly though I am sure she did not want to. Taking care of another living being requires a lot of you.
We sat in the consult room for thirty minutes, quietly. We both know what’s up but don’t want to commit to such a finality. We did decide to include Emily in the decision. She is at a work training and, earlier, said she would answer her phone. We left a message.
The vet tech came in and cleared us out because of the next appointment coming in. We moved to the waiting area. Btw, in case you missed it, we are alternately crying and blowing our noses. Days don’t get worse than this. Probably why they left us in the private room. Now, with us in the waiting room, everyone can enjoy. We did calm a little while waiting on a call from Em.
We went outside to clear our heads. The clinic is by itself out in the country. Nothing but countryside around it. So waking around outside is very calming. We had a snack from the car stash and a drink. Emily finally called me back. She agreed it was time.
We went back into the clinic and spoke to the doctor. Told her our decision. She gave us a room to use to visit with Jaxon for the last time. It’s so very hard to do just that. Visit. Especially when you know the dog will be gone in a few minutes. We spent 20 mins crying with him.
We finally had to leave. Say a last goodbye. I went to the front desk, ordered his cremation and we left. Marika has he car and went to Dixon to see friends. She did not want to go home. I went to the office. I am already miserable so might as well go to work.
I had a couple appointments, did some paperwork. I can’t really remember. My mind was elsewhere. I worked till 6. Called Emily and told her to meet me downtown for cocktails. Booze is not a solution to problems nor a cure for sadness but it does help you to not care.
Drive home was quick and eventless. I got to the bar and Emily had found parking in front. I circled the block twice and found a space a half block away. Not my day.
Inside Emily was into her first drink. Bartender remembered us from last week. We sat at the bar. Bartender gave us over pours from a few margaritas. This is my reward for an awful day. I drank too much as did Emily. It helped. We had dinner at the bar, taco Tuesday specials. When we finally left the bill was only $30. I tipped her$20.
We drove straight home. As straight as that many cocktails allows. The house is different without Jaxon. First time in near 16 years he isn’t home. I just felt something missing. Marika stayed in Dixon.
We got ready and went to bed. The booze makes it easier to sleep.