Finally

Definite last day of vacay, so it goes. We are up with the chickens. Actually, I had to wake the chickens. It’s early. Fortunately, the in-room services include a coffee pot. Oh boy. The white foil packet says “coffee” in bold letters. Not even good enough for a generic name. And it was every bit what I expected. Hot, brown and liquid with packets of whitener (no milk) to make it taste better. Sure. I had two cups.

Em and I got showered and packed and to the airport early. Early is her idea, I would have slept later. We arrived at our gate over an hour early. Security was quick even though they had to inspect my snacks to be sure there was no contraband. I am willing to bet they have tons of snacks in the back and they laugh at us while they scarf them down. That’s assuming a TSA agent can laugh. They may be too stupid to get the joke.

So here we sit, Emily is working on a letter of intent and application to Auburn USD. Everybody cross your fingers. She has the process well in hand, though the technology seems to baffle her.

I am doing this. For you. And it’s work too. I have to be awake and alert. And try to pay attention for anything of interest. In an airport, early, that’s a big job. All around me siting, bleary and dull faces, some lucky ones asleep. Soon, all of us will be on the plane looking exactly the same.

First boarding has been called. Also, plane has no WiFi. Don’t care. Planes have shit wifi anyway so what am I missing. I don’t put my phone on airplane mode anyway, which helps. As much as I have read on this issue there is no real connection between cockpit communications and passengers phones. They just don’t interfere. Of course, it does eliminate obnoxious phone calls and noisy phones. Mines on silent. Remember in the future to ignore your stewardess when she says shut down.

We are at 10000 ft. Big whup. The flight attendant née stewardess has just announced we can use approved devices. And I am. Assuming this is an approved device. I have no idea. I also don’t care. That’s a bad combo for compliance. Right now I am looking for coffee and a snack. Sadly, not going yet. Not sure where in the sky we have to be before they start cabin service.

Where the hell is my coffee, bitches? There is so little to do in an airplane. Even the inflight entertainment isn’t. I hate it. 3hrs 44 mins of pure boredom. Oh so fun.

Ok. It’s been two hours more. I got up a couple times to get coffee. So much faster. Southwest serves very good coffee. I went to the can once. Other than these things I have been reading. It’s all that keeps me sane. I don’t sleep well in planes unless I am totally exhausted ie 24 hours no sleep. That works.

So reading it is. The approach and landing, after 4 hours, was mundane which I like. The deplaning process (in English, getting off the plane) was very slow but smooth. One more leg to go.

Here in the Austin airport there ain’t much. This terminal has about as many bars as eateries. We looked around and ended up at Earl’s Tacos. Named for Earl Campbell of Houston Oiler fame. I did not have tacos. I had brisket. The food, as in most airports, was ok. And way overpriced. Two plates, $28.

Also a little retail to look at. 10$. It’s a habit. Easy to call. And a fountain drink. $4. It continues. I hate airports. Plane leaves in 1 hour. So we sit around for an hour. Line up Southwest style, by number. Numbers assigned in some evil way to insure you will sit in the back of the plane.

So we line up at appropriate time. And board. Turns out the plane is half full already. We get the very last row in the plane. Southwest hates us.

Flight normal. Ten minutes of bad turbulence. But, normal. I was served a drink of choice. Water. They passed out snacks. Lorna Doones. Four hours of extreme boredom follow.

We landed. I’m in last row. Must wait forever. Until I qualify for Medicare. Took so long I got to watch the guy open the back doors and someone came in and restocked. That was cool. I never knew there are no refrigerators in the galley. Just drawers full of ice. LOTS of drawers full of ice. Some drawers were drinks in ice. About 12 drawers of various sizes by my count. Also drinks of an incredible count and variety were brought in. And lots of garbage hauled out. The detritus of civilization. Fun to watch.

So it took the people in front of us on the plane took 20 minutes to get out of the plane. Yikes.

Marika was waiting for us at the curb once we picked up our luggage. Bella, her friend and our pet sitter, was with her. We had a nice ride home. Marika drove. Emily was scared. So it goes.

We had many things to talk about. We have been gone three weeks, but, as usual, Marika is not very forthcoming. Bella is and she barfed up the info. Nothing serious.

We stopped at the butcher shop on the way. Got a marinated tri tip for tonight. And some meat sticks. For the kids.

Off to grocers. Picked up our Rx and groceries we need for now and tonight. And fruit for cocktails – it is Natl Tequila Day. So it’s a must tonight. Must drink Tequila.

Got home. Finally. Settled in. Said hi to the animals. Unpacked. Looked at mail. Reacquainted myself with my home.

Best of all, I finally got to see my garage. And my workshop. Those are the new additions to the homeland while we were away. The garage is humongous. It will fit the trailer and all three cars. With room to spare. I am a golden god. Also, the workshop at the back. You thought I forgot. I did not. My new workshop is beautiful. And spacious. And now I can move everything into it. And space is freed up and everyone is happier.

Ok. Got the grill heating up. And I made margaritas. Which became three rounds of drinks. Not for me. For Em and Marika. They drink too much. I just finished making another round, it’s 845, and I am ready for bed. They are drinking. Something these women of my family have in common. An inability to figure out when to stop. Not my problem. I stopped as soon as I realized they were not going too. I am not stupid or crazy. Or devil may care. A man has got to know his limitations.

We are sitting here, they are drinking. I decided to get the last of the ice cream cake from the freezer. Ever so slightly freezer burned but ice cream is ice cream. So we enjoyed Randy’s? birthday cake. They had theirs with the cocktails. I had water. Limitations.

I hope we go to bed soon. I am very tired. These two are drunk. Why am I forced to endure drunk women? I must have been bad in a previous life. Or maybe this one. Not sure.

Emily just mentioned making the bed. And then went to go pee. Then dipshit stood five feet from me and peed on the rug. That would be Jax. The worthless fucker. He will be wearing a diaper tonight. Asshole.

It’s getting close to bedtime. I am going to go make the bed. And get in it.