Month: June 2018

I am sure dedicated readers note the title. It’s an abbreviation of day one. I abbreviate because I am lazy. I reserve the right to use an out of sequence and unrelated title if I see fit. Author’s choice.

So I was tired as hell this am. Tired. Time change and travel really screw with my iron like constitution. So up late and lazy breakfast. Out of the house at 1130. Like I said, lazy.

I still have two work projects to finish which I brought with me. The projects involve me calling the IRS, waiting on hold for an hour or so, maybe getting cut off once or twice (maybe? Definitely!), speaking with an idiot, faxing said idiot paperwork while on the line with them, having them perform their duties poorly and slowly, and I’m done. Oh yeah, each of the two projects I have to call a different number. So I can’t do it all at once. So I figured four hours to handle this. Very optimistic.

So how did it go? Well I went to the in laws house. They have a fax. So first thing, I make the call. Gotta get on hold quick and start the wait. So the IRS goes thru a 10 minute BS announcement then the recording says “we are busy, call later”. Click. Yes, they just hang up. After wasting ten minutes of your life. I hate them. But, I am used to this shit. So, call again. Same thing. Call again and same thing. Call again, yay I am now on hold. While waiting I get my fax ready, connect their fax to phone line and plug it in. I do note lack of recent use of fax. Also, it’s old. Like Carter administration old. It’s analog old. No kidding. Still on hold. I decide to test the fax machine. It will not communicate it turns out. Too old. But I’m 30 into my hold so I’m not hanging up. I get to near 60 mins, the hold music switches which means imminent answer. I hear someone try to pick up. Click. Gone. I hate these mfr’s. In the last 30 years I have become used to the worlds worst customer service. So, what to do? Back to it. I call back, get right into hold, and only wait 45 mins, and I get to speak with an intelligent IRS employee. It happens. We ran thru my whole transaction, got it staged, to the point of faxing, and I explain I will need to fax tomorrow. She says ok, it’s on the account. Call tomorrow and whoever answers can pick it up and finish. I say a silent prayer and hang up. So, at this point, I don’t call on the other project. I just quit for the day. It’s getting late. Tomorrow I decide to find a business service center somewhere so I can actually fax. The above should tell all why I hate calling the IRS. It’s like Russian Roulette, only you stay alive when the gun fires. That may not be a positive in this situation.

By the time I was done it was late. Dinnertime late. So Emily and Ali left and went to the market, Hannafords. I needed a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of rum. Hannafords has a nice selection. We also got food for dinner. Tacos. I need carbs from something other than liquor, once in a while.

Home. The weather today has been rainy and cold. Glad I spent it working. We made up our tacos and hot them cooking. And beans. I like beans but they give me gas. I kinda like that too. While they cooked I made adult beverages for the bride and I. She insisted on a margarita. I have no memory of what I made for myself. Wait, it was a daquiri. I had one on Sunday night at 555 and was less than pleased at their effort. I need d one tonight to wash away the taste of their failure to make me happy.

We enjoyed our tacos and beans and chips n salsa. Have to have chips for Emily.

I hate to say, but I was still beat from Sunday and went to bed. I read a little which really knocked me out. Better on the morrow I am sure.

I know, I use the same title more than once. I say, when you find something that works you stick with it.

So, it’s Sunday at 720am. I am sitting at gate A17 waiting for my plane to arrive. Marika and I spent yesterday evening remotely trying to book reservations. I managed a car for Rome to Pisa. Fixed carly’s Flight from Nice. Booked another car from Nice to Marseille. That’s the half way point of our adventure. Just need to book out 16 more days. Yikes.

I am all packed into a very small duffel. I only brought some clothing and a few toiletries. About five days clothing. That’s it. So very light and small. Easy to move through the world. The only pair of shoes I brought is the pair I have on. I said light, weren’t you paying attention?

I really do detest flying. Nowadays we are treated like cattle. No one cares a bit for your comfort and ease. And everything you want is sold to you. I paid extra for legroom and aisle seats. The aisle in front of the exit row has great legroom as well. It’s worth the $9 I paid for it. Those used to be free. And, of course, I brought my own food. Airline food is awful and pricey. At least I can still get a small bottle of water for free. And coffee. So I will get to see the RV bathroom facilities. Spacious and beautiful. All granite. Right.

I note everyone around me is quite bleary. I look the same but I can’t see myself. Thank god. We are all going to be fast friends in a few minutes and for a few hours. I have been looking for the fat sweaty guy I suspect I will be sitting next to. Have not found him as of yet but I know he is lurking out here somewhere. Sweating and breathing hard. I can hardly wait. In ten minutes we start enplaning. That’s airline talk. When unloading you don’t. You deplane. So I guess enplane is accurate.

So in line, I strike a conversation with the guy behind me. Our line is last to board. He is a nice guy. Also, fat, sweaty and breathing hard. He had to make haste to get here on time. I figure I should be nice to this guy, there is a 99% chance he will be sitting next to me with his rolls rollingbiver the armrest onto me. And dripping. I am sickened as well. Nice guy.

Time to load up. They pull the barrier at the end of the chute and off we go. Not to the slaughterhouse fortunately.

Ok. Surprise! I have the legroom and aisle seat as purchased. But, wait for it, …. the seat in the middle is empty!! I win the lottery! Of course I am sure I will get karmic payback later. Maybe a collicky kid on the next leg. But for now me and he guy in the window seat (thinnish, no seeet) have a barrier between us tibuse for our crap and an effective barrier to conversation. Cool.

Well, the next five hours to DC were completely boring. Which is good. The monotony broken only by my sleeping, and two passes from the drink cart. Maybe a couple trips to the John. The snacks were free, which I take and do not eat. Maybe later. I time my snack consumption or I would be fat like the guy in the window seat. He ate extra. And brought a plethora of items to continually consume while viewing TV shows. He is fatter than I first noticed. I am not anti fat. I am anti fat guy next to me.

So, anyhow, boring flight. That’s a W.

Landed at DC Dulles. I had a 25 gate stroll to my next flight. So I passed about a million fast food outlets, all with lines. Why eat this crap? I got to my gate just in time to get into the loading chute (last group). Bulkhead seats. They did cost more than last seat but bulkhead is next best seat to first class. And, it’s next to first class. And, my carryon is under the seat in front of me which is first class. So my kindle, phone and iPad ride first. No added charge. I know, I want to be me too.

So, who else do I sit with? A two year old and her mom. Directly behind me a screaming child. But only screamed during takeoff, landing, and the rest of the flight. And I paid extra for this. Lost the lottery. Karmic payback. All were thin. So what’s worse, screamer or fat guy? I’m not sure.

The rest of the plane flight was boring. Same as first leg. Read. Snooze. Drink cart. Water please.

I am in Portland. Thank the lord! Can o get an Amen? Small airport, no plethora of food vendors, quiet. Easy parking. Love it. Emily was waiting at the bottom of the escalator. Finally. We have been seperate for a week or so. The in laws, Beth and Hank, were waiting as well. Kisses and hugs all around.

Well, this time, mostly inhinor of Father’s Day, I had made a reservation in Portland for dinner. Landed at 630. Res for 8. Since this is Portland Jetport, we were in the car in 3 minutes and to the restaurant well before 7. Oh well. But, being Portland, they had another table ready.

The place is called 555. Which is the address. I have never liked the idea of a restaurant owner not being able to come up with a name and instead uaing the address. Seems to lack imagination. Food was fantastic, I am not going into details, I will Yelp a review soon. Or not. But I can recommend it. They do an excellent job all around.

After dinner, head home to the lake. Hank drove and I slept the entire way. Hey, travel is draining. I can’t even tell you what time we got there. But, by the grace of god, I am here.

Again, it’s been a few days since I have blogged. I could go forgive me father for I have sinned, it’s been over a week since my last confession. Something like that.

I have been busy so my excuses for not doing are numerous and solid. Emily left for Maine over a week ago and I have been here trying to tie up all the loose ends at work and button up the house and get my self ready for the trip to Europe. Fortunately, Marika has been here the last few days. And we have spent our evenings cruising the internet making travel reservations. It’s not as easy as it sounds. We split tasks. She searches and books lodging and I am booking transportation. And, of course, we want decent lodging and cheap transportation. So it takes forever. I need a travel agent. Why did we trade travel professionals for self help internet booking? Because we are stupid.

So, anyhow, I can give you an example. I need the five of us to get from London to Paris on a Sunday. I can swim the channel, take a ferry, train through the Chunnel, or fly. So I have to search all forms of travel by time of day and speed of trip till I find most efficient method. What I am discovering is, surprisingly, planes are cheaper. Trains are ungodly expensive, boats so slow and pricey I have to say forget about it. But, I get the best price and it may only take an hour and a half of searching. Pain in the ass. I have covered about half the trip. I am on the Rome to Marseille route and I think a rental car is the ans wer. I kinda look forward to to it. But, I priced the 7 day car rental at $33 a day on the internet site. You say that’s $231. No, it’s $1738. And I have not been able to get an explanation for this. It’s fuzzy math at best. I think I need to call a car rental company during the day when their US call center is open. The nice Filipino gal I spoke to could not explain the math. At all. Like I said, this is not easy.

Yesterday was a special day. Marika and I went to Folsom where we met my Dad. He was attending his 70th high school reunion. Ya, 70. Wow. I had talked him into going by promising to show up and get him out of his car, into his transit chair, into the restaurant, and back the other way when done. He needs a lot of help moving around and no one can help unless they know how. His classmates could try but they are as old and decrepit as Dad. So, we showed. It’s really fun to sit and listen to all these 88 year olds (genetic lottery winners) talk about old times (old? Ancient more like). I met three of Dads old girlfriends which is hilarious. One of them told me all the girls were in love with Dad. That makes no sense. I was given a chance at the microphone to say whatever. Actually, was told I had to speak. And so did all the others in the room. There were about 30 classmates there and many more who couldn’t make it. People this old don’t move around the world easily. Some are infirm, some just stay home.

The luncheon was nice. Meal was decent. The point of it all is to get together while they were all still able. His high school was rural and everyone knew everyone else. Most grew up together so they have know each other a long damn time

I was sitting next to my Dads best friend, Jim Campini. He and dad met in kindergarten 83 years ago. Friends ever since. Again, wow. His next best friend Alex Ravez, sat on the other side of Dad. He’s only known dad since second grade. They are all bent old men. But all seem to be doing well enough. All have the same problems with their hearts, livers, and arthritis. Dad told me it’s because they all ate the same food, drank the same booze (a lot) and screwed the same women. Dad is pretty sure the problems are contagious. Right.

So everyone sat around and ate a nice lunch and reminisced. They drank a little wine, not like they used to, one glass seemed the norm. Alex, bless him, found himself a cocktail. I didn’t know they had booze. It’s a wine bistro after all. All in all we were there for four hours. It really is an amazing event to be part of. My Dad first attended a reunion in 1998, his fiftieth. After which, he went all the time. These folks were doing every three months due to age. Now it’s once a year. They are already planning for 71. Optimism is necessary when you are really old. There were a couple more missing this time than last, you never know. Most of these folks know to say goodbye and give a hug. They don’t who will be gone next year. Maybe them.

We managed to load up Dad but not without incident. He had to pee and he did not go to the restroom. He can’t stand unaided so he likes to get to the car. Then we get him wheeled to the open driver door and go through the process of getting him vertical. That’s when he announced it was time to take a leak. He has a car urinal which he filled. Standing in the open car doorway. Then he tells me to get the bottle and dump it in the planter. My dad is a delicate flower. At his age he does not give a shit. At all. It is probably a good attitude when you are near 90, and maybe even for the rest of us. Do your thing, as needed, everyone else can go to hell.

At this point we needed to push him into the car. He lost his balance. We caught him, fortunately, and got him into the car seat. Yay. Hugs and kisses. Marika and I jumped into her car and were off.

Sadly, there is only one road out of Folsom, to the south, and there was a huge traffic problem. Like not moving. Had to u turn and head west and add 30 mins to our trip. Nice.

So, back to the office for two to theee hours of important, necessary work. Important I sez. Then home.

Marika and I made dinner and sat down for the evenings travel res fun. See above, that’s what we were doing. We did not hit the hay till midnight. Long day.

I really need to get back in the habit of daily blogging. I was so doin it ever since I started last summer. I fell off that bandwagon during our epic move and tax season. I was obliterated. And I got lazy. Bad combo. Well, I do intend to be a daily blogger come trip time. That’s eight weeks with probably more to discuss.

But, since my last entry I have been busy. A few days back I put Emily on a jet plane, don’t know when she’ll be back again. Just kidding. She was off to Maine to begin her summer vacay. I am still here finishing up a lot of work that’s been hanging around to long. And it’s alot of work. I just spent the entire weekend in the office. Fun.

I sold my truck last week. A client of mine bought it. I have had the F350 about 10 years. And I sold it for twice what I paid for it. Win for me. It was handy on the farm but I just don’t need a truck here in the city. Especially a truck that big and heavy. So it’s sold and I am thrilled. More money for vacay. That’s what I’m sayin.

So most of my days since Emily left have been me going into work early and coming home late. Not very exciting. I also am able to stick to a more strict diet and eating schedule. Emily does not stop me but it’s harder to eat well when your wife tempts you. She is the devil. But cute so it’s ok. I am trying to drive my weight down before vacay because there are so many temptations when you go out of town. And I want to try them all.

On Saturday I hosted my daughters 23rd birthday. Just the two of us. She came home for the night just after she got off work. We had marinated lamb chops on the BBQ and teriyaki green beans and broccoli. And no birthdaybis complete without an ice cream cake with 23 tiny scoops of ice cream on top. I put the candles in and sang happy birthday. A little bad without accompaniment but you gotta sing. We enjoyed it. She got presents too which I wrapped. This single parent thing is for the birds. The gifts were oriented towards our upcoming trip – a duffel, a compact jacket, etc. she did ok. I enjoyed our party of two.

On Sunday it was wash rinse repeat. Work all day and Marika home for dinner. Actually she is staying for a few days. That’s nice. I can always use a little help. So we had leftovers tonight and she got another gift, from her grandpa. It was a Kindle. I would say she absolutely loves it. She worked diligently to get it set up and operational. She has been browsing the titles for twenty minutes. Looking for cheap reads. The starving student lives!

I hope we have some ice cream cake later. She is on a diet and I don’t want to push it on her. Then I would be her mother. Emily likes to eat treats together. I try to avoid them, together or not. Marika has suggested twice that we have cake. I have said whatever, you choose. My saying yes could make her choose to do it when she doesn’t really want to. Well, it is working. She hasn’t moved toward the freezer just yet. But it’s almost ten pm and I want to go to bed. And I am. Without ice cream. Tonight we will be good, by that I mean follow our diet. I do have to get up early. I have a meeting first thing. Bedtime.

Many will recognize the title of this piece. It’s on the side of U Haul trucks everywhere. But, let’s face it, who really wants an adventure in moving? I want boring and mundane. Point to point. Nothing broken. Easy. No adventure.

Why bring this up now? Yesterday, all day, I helped Marika move out of her old rental into a new place plus put stuff in storage. With no boxes and no moving van. I did have a truck. Thank god.

As all know, I just finished the big move. Sold the farm and all. I had professional movers. They pack in boxes. Wrap furniture. Hell, they wrap everything. Use pads and dollys. Well, not my daughter. This was a college move. No boxes. Wait, she bought two. Damn near all of her material belongings were moved loose. We had no tools to make it easy. You know tools? The things that seperate ya from the lower form of animals? We carried the fridge. And furniture. Moved it inside a car and the truck. Used all seats. Took 12 hours for one room and some furniture. Please, don’t be jealous, it was not as much fun as it sounds. And, something else, we had to keep all doors closed because of the cat. So, you pick up a heavy armload and walk to the door and try to open, and close, it without dropping anything. This was a hillbilly move. I half expected to find granny in a rolled up carpet. I didn’t.

Half way through this huge pile of fun, Marika realized she just didn’t have a place for most of her crap. So we went to a local storage facility and rented a small unit. Of course, you need a lock. She did not have one. They sell pricey locks there. I suggested the time savings was worth the $7 more she would pay. She didn’t. So, off to Ace Hardware for a lock. This turned out well. The Whiskey Tip is next door to Ace. It was 430. Cocktails! Just one, I’m working. Nice little bar, none too crowded. A brief respite from a crowded day. Slightly overpriced, whatever. When you have been moving all day, the drink taste that much better.

After our break, back to the old house. Loaded up all the things for the new storage unit, went there, took 45 mins to show horn the crap in, hey, there was a lot and we damn near had to grease the stuff.

Marikas new residence beckoned. We had everything loaded to go. So we’re off to Petaluma, what do you think of that? We’ve never been there before, we don’t even know where it’s at. Kinda rhymes. Marika is moving in with an old family friend, Mary Savage. Don’t be scared, she is gentle and kind. And not charging rent. 😎

She is letting her keep Vlad there as well. Mary is a kind woman. Her Dad, Tom, used to live next door to my in-laws in Bodega Bay. He passed many years ago at the young aide of 99. Mary, his daughter, looks like she is going to pass him. Anyhow, Tom was a nice man and it’s great to have old friends you don’t have to explain yourself to. We always accept each other as is.

We managed to get all unloaded, no small feat. Packed into a very small room in a very large house. One woman in 3000sf. Maybe all the work keeps her young. Took about an hour to get all done.

Back to the old house. There was more to get out and a little more for storage too. As I have said, poorly planned hillbilly move. Oh well. It’s her deal, I am just the free muscle to implement this disaster. We loaded ALL that was left and heading to new house first. Then loaded more for storage, on back of truck. Then off to storage. And, UNload the unit in order to repack the storage unit so all this stuff fits. And it is now very full. We grabbed the cat too. It was quite late at this point, so we went to Cattlemens in Santa Rosa for dinner. We sat at the bar, no cocktails, and had a nice sirloin steak dinner. On special even. You can win. And it was late so the service was very quick. And we still have plans.

After dinner we are going to Shari’s for Key Lime apie shakes. Yay!!

Does everyone remember my experience with Shari’s and Key Lime shakes from last summers epic cross country trip? And the follow up (very negative) throughout the year? Well the famous Sharis lousy service and poor management continues. We got to Shari’s, and placed our order. Two Key Lime shakes to go. About ten minutes later, it takes that long, the asset manager comes out. “We got no ice cream.” No I’m sorry, no coupon offered, nothing polite. She then says,”got a blender?” I hate Sharis lack of service and truly stupid and rude employees. I think this comes from bad management. You know, the stink on a fish starts at the head. Last summer I had such bad experiences here I called the restaurant and complained. Then regional got an email. And phone call. Then corporate too. They sent me a free pie coupon. And apologized. If they had listened and read they may have sent a free shake coupon. It’s my only meal in their restaurant. I re-yelped my restaurant review of Sharis. An update. See below:

Ok. One year later. I have , in the past year, complained about availability of the key lime (yes, first world problem) pie. I started by calling the restaurant. Spoke to manager. No help. Email and call to some regional office. No help. Straight to the top where they really didn’t do much. I did get a free pie, though I want the shake.

And what happened? Key lime is no longer seasonal, it’s every day. You are welcome.

So why update the review now? Because in the past year I have had several poor interactions with Shari’s and finally, last night, they pushed me over the edge. I have dropped them to one star. Why?
Well I stopped in for a key lime shake. The server up front took the order. Comes out ten minutes later. They have no ice cream. Wtf? She said the next delivery was 5 am tomorrow. Ya, I’ll be here then.

This place has the word pie in big letters all over. On its 50 foot sign. Pictures of pie with ice cream. Why oh why can’t they go to a local store and buy enough to cover? The rest of the world does. Of course, Shari’s employees are slow and kind of stupid. They always seem as though they are the ones wal mart rejected. I have spoken to many, hey I do come here for pie shakes. I can see these folks have no initiative or are not allowed initiative to solve guests problems. Just like wal mart. I can only imagine the upper management is awful. This place only gets 2.5 stars, which is awful, really, but I took my rating from a two to a one. You know, I do like to hear an apology at times like this. Something like “ I am sorry we don’t have the menu item you wanted. We misordered”. Would not be difficult. The three people I spoke to really didn’t care. It was obvious. I guess I should keep going and see if it can get worse. Please, no. I just want a pie shake.

Ok. That was the update on my last Sharis review. I will say it again, the key lime pie shake is a 10. ALL else in this place is a zero. Go get a shake. The shake is something to make you happy while you observe the disaster.

After our no dessert trip, Marika went back to old house to clean. Really. Plans on quitting by 2am. I took Vlad and went home, to bed. What a fine day, all good except my not a shake. I will get one, promise.