Belize Day 4, T -4. Goin Fishin

It’s 7 am. I hate getting up early while on vacation. We have to meet Tony at 9am. He is taking us out on the ocean for snorkeling, fishing, rum punch, BBQ etc today. But u gotta get up early to go fishing. But it’s vacay and I prefer to sleep in. I also have to go to the phone hospital and visit my sick phone. As you recall, yesterday I took my phone for a dip in the ocean. Unintentional, it’s not like my phone was begging for it. I’m limping along with this substitute phone but I need mine back. Time to move.

So the phone store is not open at 8am. Posted hours 8-a-7p. What a surprise. I would say it’s “manana”except I’m in Belize. Maybe there is some equatorial thing that slows down time. There is a term I am sure but I don’t know it. Maybe “who gives a good god dann what time it is”. That would work. Or the island time mentality. Will try again in a few.

Big shout out to that asshole in room (can’t say). Took ALL the coffee from breakfast. Emptied the entire 25 cup percolator into his two enormous coffee cups. Asshole. Hey buddy, other people want coffee too. The term for a guy like this escapes me, asshole, but I will remember it eventually, selfish asshole. I had to wait 15 more minutes for coffee. I know, not so important to anger me and a wait does not anger me. The selfish asshole angers me. Dick.

Got back to the phone store at 830 and it was opening up. Owner says, have not opened the case yet. Don’t know. I will be back after fishing, thank you.

Tony and boat arrived at 9am promptly. His assistant Marco with him. Tony took us on a similar trip in 2013. He really is the man to see for fishing and snorkeling in Belize. We loaded up just after 9 and headed out. In fifteen minutes we were fishing. Mostly grunts and red snapper/yellow tail. The fish are very plentiful inside the reef. About an hours worth of fishing and we had enough to feed us lunch. Btw, I caught the biggest, a shark, about 25 lbs. We are not allowed to keep a shark so it never got on the boat. A catch and release moment. By sheer poundage, I caught the most fish. Yay team Bill.

We went for lobster next. About ten minute boat ride. We all got into the water and Marco dove down and opened their traps. That’s a piece of corrugated metal on top of cinder blocks on the bottom. It’s only ten feet deep. Then all the lobsters scurry and we had hooks on poles and spears. We got over twenty in the next hour. Lots of fun.

After catching enough for all of us times 2, we went to Shark Ray alley. This is a protected area of the reef so no fishing allowed. It’s home to the biggest and best rays, shark and other fish on the reef. The sharks actually swarm the boat

As you can see, sharks swarming the boat. It’s a Belizean Sharknado!!! You can also swim with them if you want but they do bite. They are wild, this is not Disneyland.

After shark week LIVE! we headed back to land. Tony has “privledges” at a beachside hotel and bar where he takes the days catch and makes lunch for us. It is my favorite part. We sat on the veranda with cool drinks while he cleaned them and cooked all of our catch. Cleaning the fish directly into the water attracts birds and rays and bonefish to eat all the crap.

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Everyone wants a piece. Tony took about an hour to clean and cook. He is one hell of a chef. Caribbean style lobster tail and lobster ceviche. Of course we had a fish stew as well. Served with fresh tortillas. Feast for the gods. And, besides me, the other mortals.

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A full day. The boat took everyone back to our hotel. My cart was there at the Seabreeze Suites parked out front. So Jodee and I carted back. More comfortable than the boat.

Time to head to the phone store and try my luck. Fingers crossed. OK. Someone out there did not cross their fingers. I got to the phone store and there was my phone, covered with butter and jam because my phone was TOAST. That’s correct, it is now a paperweight. Fuck it. I know where I will be on Saturday. That’s correct, I will be in the ATT store in Vacaville getting a new phone. Which I will probably have to pay for. F bomb. Sorry for the f bombs but it’s how I feel. Anyone out there have a hobby of collecting broken i Phones? I got one. Cheap. I need to move on. One more that’s the service tag on my phone. For those who can’t see it, the tag says “wet. Mr. Bill”, which will be the final insulting word in this debacle. Wait, this is historic. We need a name for it. Like the Battle of the Bulge. U know? How about “The Oxbow Incident”? That sounds good.

I was going to get a paleta while at the phone store. That’s a Mexican popsicle. But adding insult to injury the paleta store closed 10 minutes before I got there. F bomb. Now I will need to go out and procure ice cream on my own. Fortunately I can do procurement. Our feast today was quite filling and kind of late in the day. So I am thinking an early dessert and then bedtime for Bonzo and me too.

I am gonna cruise what passes for the internet here and see what I can find for dessert. Funny thing, or strange happenstance. Not sure which and maybe neither. But you know the place I got ice cream the other night? You know, out by the airport. Wait, you don’t remember either? We’re in trouble. Just kidding, my memory is fantastic. The place is called Paradice Ice Cream. Turns out they are number one in San Pedro and the whole caye for desserts according to Trip Advisor which is known as a very scholarly website for dessert rating. Or, at least, it should be. So I may have to go back to the #1 place and get more. It also happens to be the only place still open on the whole caye. So they would get me anyway. But I sound smarter and more well informed because I found them on my own. Am I right? Don’t answer that. I will wait to go till I find some common consent from the crowd aka those who lay around the pool and drink. Some are family, some friends. Almost all inebriates. Hey, when they’re conscious they’re great. Really.

So Jodee was out at the pool reading. She was all in for ice cream. She had been thinking it already. Great minds. Said we needed to take husband Steve too. So off we go late evening ice cream run. And none of us stoned. Well, not me. It’s a quick run to the corner just short of the airport and very little traffic this late on a Tuesday. I will save you the drama, there wasn’t any. I got strawberry, one scoop. In a cup. Less carbs that way. Jodee got the dirty nut(coconut with toasted coconut flakes) on a cone and Steve 3 scoops of blueberry cheesecake he’s a big guy. Steve did his usual make the kids behind the counter laugh thing. He is a frustrated comedian. Actually he might not be frustrated. Then off to the hotel. Not a thrills a minute trip so I hope to not disappoint. Though driving a golf cart as primary transport in a country paved in shit roads is truly thrills a minute. Just not for you readers. It’s difficult to give all the witty banter and driving excitement that goes along with a trip such as this. I’m more of a travelogue type of guy when writing about, well, travel. Kinda like Lowell Thomas (ask your parents, better ask your grandparents)used to be.

Needless to say, drove swiftly (the cart has a governor) back to Mata Rocks, finest hotel on the south side of Ambergris Caye. I ate my ice cream with skill and vigor, which befits a man with my advanced level of ice cream consumption experience. For those of you unfamiliar with such vocabulary, I ate like a pig.

I am going to read for awhile then go to sleep. Big day tomorrow, nothing is planned. It gives me goosebumps.