Month: September 2017

All good vacations come to an end. So do the bad ones. Everyone says, “I wish it would never end!” But then it would be retirement and not vacation. Which sounds nice too. I do like going home as well. It’s the back to work part of it I truly dislike.

Since we packed last night there is not much to do. I settled the bar bill, only $30BZ. Hey, I don’t drink. Took my cart to the gas station and fueled up. $27BZ for the week. Sounds like nothing but it’s over $5 per gallon US. Just don’t use much in these anemic carts.

Now I am waiting. Ten minutes to the airport, drop the cart, check in and wait. Plane at 10am. Then sit in Belize City for 2.5 hours. Travel days are never fun. Waiting.

I’ve been trying to charge all my crap for the past hour. Not sure why but charging very slow.

Finally off. The girls get a ACd taxi with bags. We are returning these lovely golf carts. We went in convoy to the gas station, mine full so just waited on Vince and Steve (aka Prancer aka Rule #6) to fill their tanks. Off to return. We dropp d and ran. No inspection here. I could have destroyed the damn thing. Of course, they plop insurance on the cart so maybe I should have destroyed it. I am sure I am the one paying for required damage policy. The cart office is 200 feet from the airport.

We walked back to departures, recently remodeled and more than nice. I am not sure why arrivals is shit and departures is sweet. Maybe they ran out of money.

We went out for coffee almost immediately upon arriving in departures. Jodee, Steve P and me. There is a French boulangerie across the street. As French bakeries go, this is the nicest I have seen. I ev n ended up with food to go. Coffee was McDonalds hot which I love. Delices de France. There is a Frenchman in the kitchen, or “rifle dropper” as Steve likes to call them. He is retired British army. And the French are surrender monkeys after all. But the pastries are incroyable!!

We are on the plane.

Everybody going their separate ways. No tears on separation. Usual see you soons and let’s do it agains. Of course, timing a vacation is difficult enough in a busy life, just for yourself. Trying to get a group together again for another vacay is very hard if not impossible. We can hope. We are all pushing hard on retirement which does free up the schedule so who knows?

We tromped off to our terminal, the old one. No matter. The bathrooms have been recently remodeled and are fully westernized. The nice hand dryers. Electric eye flush, etc. This is the beginning of the end. Within a few years this place will resemble Miami Beach. And I will never come here again once it’s fully improved.

So, our group just showed up in our terminal. It turns out the other new terminal still feeds departing passengers to us. And, btw, the planes still load via stairs off the tarmac. Old school. Last time I did that was for a malfunctioning gangway. And when I was here four years ago as well.

The rest of our group just left. Again. Although Steve came back once more for god knows what. He didn’t know either. He just wanted to dump his Belizean money.

I went into duty free not thinking of buying, just looking. You can buy up to two liters of booze per person. The Cointreau was 50% less than what we pay at home. Bought two liters. Too good a deal to pass up. Only problem is I have to carry it through Houston airport. I can handle it. These are obviously ancillary benefits to international travel. Besides sightseeing and the trots.

Checked my watch, still 9.5 hours to Sacramento. But who is counting? Me. It’s nice to fly in on a Friday because you have all weekend to get your shizzle together so you are able to arrive at work on Monday in working order. I need to mow he lawn tomorrow and go get a new phone to replace my dead one. I am buying old/used/refurbished. Mine was old and used so I don’t need new to replace it. Then maybe I can start in on laundry. Or not. I have volunteered to tow a friends boat to Emeryville and I may be doing that on Sunday.

Almost forgot, Emily will be home today. Not sure when. Voice communication has been somewhat problematic for me and I have not talked to her in awhile. She has been helping her folks in Maine for the last week. That’s like a vacation in Belize only not. The weather there has been a tad cooler and there version of humidity is rain. Though they do have exotic food, great ice cream, and good beer. And all cheaper than Belize. I shoulda gone there. Next time. I hope she arrives at Sacramento same time as me.

While sitting here I saw Jeanine coming in. We met her at the hotel. She is creepy. And freaky. Security stopped her in customs. Maybe it was the bandage on her head from her recent bar fight. Really. When they let her through to departures she was escorted by two cops. And they are staying with her. I assume they are helping her leave Belize in an orderly fashion. Or just kicking her out of the country. She is really strange. Not one you want to make acquaintance with. I imagine when she gets to Houston that there will be customs officers and the Texas police at the gate to greet her. Just for a quick how-do-u-do. Welcome home. Maybe I can get a picture.

Houston was Houston. From the air I can see no significant damage from the flooding. Saw a storage yatd full of cars. Maybe water damage but from 1000 ft could just be a junk yard.

Landed and picked up my bag. I was forced to pack my liquor into my checked bag. That has disaster written all over it. I pray for my glass bottles. Please dear god don’t let them be damaged.

Customs was a breeze, just a short wait, and through. I did lose a bottle of Marie Sharps that Vincent insist I take with me. I forgot it was 6 oounces and you can only bring 4.5 or some such total bullshit. TSA is a joke. They make no one safe. They just annoy and take away perfectly safe items from us. I have always hated them. They are the perfect example of our government wasting our tax dollars.

Got a bite to eat before I got on the last leg of my trip home. A “Greek” salad which was every bit as Greek as a Texan can create. At least they tried.

Ok. So I have spoken previously of Jeanine. See above. Well fortunately, she is not alone. I got on the plane to Sacto early. Aisle seat on my row is empty, I am in the middle. Middle seat sucks so I am hoping no one comes along to claim it. Sadly, someone did. Young man, obviously been drinking, unmedicated mentally ill man, sat down next to me. Talking a mila a minute incomprehensibly, and loudly, with bursts frequent bursts of profanity. His first words were about the fucking Bloody Mary he was going to buy, for me too, and he sweatshirt he bought in Alabama and his father the contractor and he is holding about $3000 in cash in his hand and waving it around and cursing and making very little sense. Caught alot of attention from other passengers and finally flight crew as well. But, he continued being the same way with less profanity for a few minutes until he realized I was an Air Marshal, I kid you not, then he shut up completely. Then, all of a sudden he jumps up and takes an empty seat in an exit row. Who know all my years as a marshal would come in handy? Not me. It was a surprise. Life is very strange all the time. I did not see the creep the rest of the flight. Though I did hear occasional bursts of profanity from behind me.

I am 3 hours into my four hour flight. It’s getting dark outside but it’s still 90 at home. But you all know, it’s a dry heat. I will see my doggies in 2 hours. Just watched the only movie I managed to download to my iPad. So back to reading. Nothing more boring than flying on a plane. Perhaps a long train trip. Or sitting in steerage in a boat sweating my cojones off. Beats work. That’s Monday.

Guess what? I met Emily in the airport. Crazy happenstance. Usual insane greeting. Right. We got our luggage together and got the car.

On he way home we got a text, which has not been working, Emily’s dad is having open heart surgery on Tuesday. Looks like I am flying out on Monday night to be there on Tuesday because no one else can. That is crazy. This just came up all of a sudden. Which seems to be my life the last few months. Everyone except Nobby, the son, my bro in law, is being upbeat about this. Nobby is a wanker to the nth degree. Love these British terms. Anyway it’s a three way bypass and a new valve. The 150,000 mile scheduled maintenance. I believe he will do well in surgery. I believe if he gets the chance he will tell all the doctors how to do it. I am only partly joking. He is in charge. If anyone out there wishes to say a quick prayer or light a candle, he can always use it.

I am going to bed. I need a little more beauty sleep so I can continue to impress and amaze people.

Today we’re going to the zoo. There is an old Bill Cosby joke that starts out that way. I can’t tell it like him. But I am sure all the animals end up roofied.

I believe this is the only zoo in Belize unless you count the entire country as a really big zoo. As a kid, we lived one block from the San Francisco Zoo. We went often, mostly because it was free I think. Difficult to avoid an outing when it’s free. We got to go to zoo night once a year, management opens after “close” so members of the zoo society can go in late and watch animals being fed. So I have grown up enjoying the zoo. Since that time I have included any local zoo in my travel plans for vacation, if one is available. The Belize zoo is near top of my list. I am looking forward to today.

We caught the water taxi on downtown San Pedro. Not first class travel. Everyone got a seat, shoulder to shoulder, and there you sit for 45 mins with no airflow. Nice. Comfortable. No. We sat there and sweat like pigs the whole time. Everyone hoping that the other guy doesn’t get seasick. If one heaves, all heave. The gal sitting next to me had her head in her hands for almost the entire ride. Lovely. No projectile vomit, thank god. We stopped for ten minutes at Caye Caulker to exchange passengers. Now we have a couple more. Goodie. 30 minutes more and we got to Belize City and freedom! from steerage.

We got picked up by at the dock by Earl, in a E350 Ford fully AC van. I love Earl. And AC. We were treated to a nice ride thru Belize City. It’s not as disgusting as people say. I would never walk around it, just saying. We finally hit the highway and 30 minutes later, the zoo!!

Have I mentioned how much I like zoos and this one in Belize in particular. The Belize zoo is really an animal rehab facility. Most are rescued in some way or other. Though not all are released. I guess those would be the zoo part of the zoo. I have a few pictures.

Can you see the wedding tackle on this guy? Wow. He is the Belizean national animal, the Tapir. I know why the guys picked this one back in 1981. The committee saw themselves. This animal has five legs. A tripod in back and two up front. The females all walk bow legged. An impressive sight.

This is the Fruit Loops mascot according to my idiot sister. A toucan. I can’t take my sister anywhere. And they don’t sell booze at the zoo.
Same Pelican as at our BBQ Tuesday.

The stork has an 8′ wingspan and is bigger than Doriene. Not difficult, she is 4’11” and has a two foot arm span. The family is pretty sure she is a dwarf.

That gator is 16′ long. Yikes.

You can see how close you can get to the animals.

We went to lunch after the zoo. Lunch is on the way to the underground river tubing. The lunch was nothing special, the usual chicken and rice. Jodee dressed up for it. Her next gig is playing the elephant man on broadway.

After lunch I went to zipline. Everyone else went to do cave tubing in flooded underground caverns. I had done the cave tubing back in 2013 and wanted to do something different this time. Cave tubing is fun but it’s no different four years later.

So I ziplined. Had a blast. Got as high as 120′ and went over two rivers. There were seven different lines. Some a couple minutes and some shorter. Marika had wanted to zipline last time but it did not work out. I texted her and let her know. We are going to try and go zipline up in Tahoe later. Before it snows of course.

Sorry, I fell asleep before finishing last night. I guess a day of sitting in an oven disguised as a boat and traipsing across a steamy jungle can tire you out. Steve was even more tired last night, I noticed. But he does not traipse. He prances like a My Little Pony. You go, Bronie!!!
See what we must put up with? Don’t judge, I’m sure, like Steve, we have all woken up in a foreign zoo in a pink sarong wondering whether we have been roofied. Happens all the time. Did I mention the saintliness of his lovely bride?

Our return trip back to our hotel was quite a bit more pleasant. The van ride with awesome air conditioning

We arrived in time, barely, to take the 430 water taxi back to Ambergris Caye. But the boat was so loaded seven out of eight of us said wait for the next boat. I would have had no problem sitting in steerage with 100 VERY close friends, and sweat my balls off for an hour and a half. But no one else in our group wanted that. Go figure.

After waiting for another hour and being constantly annoyed by the Bangladeshi merchants at the terminal, we got on the boat first. So we were allowed to sit in first class. Or what passes for first class. We sat on top where the captain controls the boat, outside with the wind. No steam oven. It was noisy and wet ish, and an incredible leap in comfort. I recommend it. And 1.5 hours later we were at the pier. The one we wanted. Our ride had deserted us, we were an hour late. No big, $10BZ and we had a ride for all to our hotel.

We all cleaned up as best we could, met at the pool, and argued about where to eat. Gentle argument, some were disappointed. Ended up at the Blue Water Grill on the beach in town. Too pricey for me but the portions were generous and food excellent.

Our last act, judging of the cheap tourist crap we purchased. Rules for contest were, under $5BZ and without use or merit. I disagree with the judges decision, but who doesn’t, here is the winner

That’s right, Prancer won. He is holding his winning entry, a plastic seashell with a dolphin on it and the shell holds a tea light. Hideous. His prize? He gets to keep all the crap entered. He is required to display it all in a place of honor in his home until his next vacation. Poor bastard.

We tried to go out for ice cream after dinner, yes again. But it was closed. We got out quite late. So we headed for the barn. No later night sitting around. We picked and fell asleep.

Today is unplanned, so far. The five divers in our group of ten are diving. Good for them. Cuts us down to a manageable size. Our five work together well, or so it seems most of the time. I would say we are the crazies and they are the OCDs. No group of anal retentives ever get along. Way too picky. Crazies are just a fun group unless someone goes off reservation.

Crazy in chief, my sister Doriene. She’s not medicated so she’s the worst but she is family. Steve and Jodee, and me. Not so bad. Jodee is Dorienes friend and co worker, but don’t judge her for that. She is OK. Same thing be said, I am Dorienes brother and you can’t pick your relatives. It just isn’t my fault. If I had a choice I would have chosen someone much taller, at least 5’3″, and quieter too. My sister is very loud. And she likes to “argue” though I use that term loosely. Arguing with her is like arguing with a particularly vacuous TV commentator through the TV screen. With the volume stuck on 11. You can’t stop the stream of pointless unfounded comments coming out at full volume. Logic has no effect on her opinions. I have been handling as best I can for over fifty years. I am a saint.

I have been handed the assignment of finding the best lunch in the caye. I need my son here, he has an uncanny knack for finding these gems. I just hope I do. Though I did find The Hungry Grouper for a wonderful dinner the other night. Good time had by all. And the Paradice Ice Cream place as well. Pat me on the back, gently, next you see me.

Back to lunch. Where? I think the pizza place would be good because their delivery man, delivers on a bike, guided us to the Hungry Grouper when we were lost. But, pizza? Seems wrong here in paradise.

Well, after 20 mins of internet search, I think El Fogon authentic Belizean is my choice. It is not top on any list but seems to consistently make customers happy. There are different ways to judge, this is one. Since it’s my way, today, I win. Everyone else needs to say thank you for to me for using my valuable vacay time, while you sat on your rears, to make all of us happy with our dining choices. You are welcome. Bow down before me and leave offerings at the altar.

I took a quick break in the room, nature called, and looked up things to do here. I am trying to find a few things that are not associated with the water. Almost everything is ocean centric in Belize. I found a couple galleries, not so good, a coffee tour (yes!) and a chocolate tour (yes). But no tour till after lunch.

I am in waiting mode, waiting on everyone else right now (Steve). I won’t say they are slow, they are, I think they just don’t care. Selfish jerks (Steve). I mean that in the nicest way. And I don’t include Jodee in that comment, of course. Of course Steve seems able to actually get lost in his own hotel room. Kinda funny really. I can’t pick on him too much, we do share mental issues. But some of his are different from mine and I can pick on those because my issues are so much better.

Off to lunch. I only know it’s past the airport and then go west. I made a correct turn then missed the next turn. Steve got that one, but he should. He spent six months in Belize navigating through jungle. He should be able to find his ass with both hands. Or the occasional restaurant. His military training is British after all.

Lunch was excellent. One of the best so far. I had the curry chicken. The restaurant actually had the words “highly recommended” printed on the menu next to Curry Chicken. Self serving don’t you think? I also had limeade, freshly made. Four of us ordered the curry chicken. Only One person diverged and got some other chicken.

The chicken curry was excellent or maybe only very good. I “highly recommend” it. All jokes aside, I would like to go back and try other dishes. Although I doubt the average Belizean gets to eat this well, the food here is fantastic and authentic from what I have read.

After lunch we had to stop for a little retail therapy. I liked the shop had AC. The restaurant did not. A couple quick purchases and off.

Doriene needed an ATM so we hit two banks on the way back. First bank had a broken ATM. We were following in our cart. We had discussed going to a coffee roasters after lunch. But, not surprisingly, Steve headed straight for the barn after the bank stop. We went to the coffee place. We luckily turned down the correct street and hit the place dead on.

Not very exciting place and not much to see really. But, they know my client Shawn who is in the coffee business and travels worldwide. He met the owners of this place, Caye Coffee, on a prior trip. So I texted Shawn and he will be back down here in January. Small world. I bought a couple pounds of coffee just to be nice. This place is on Trip Advisor. I will advise, don’t bother until they open their coffee bar. Otherwise, not worth a side trip.

We went back to the hotel after. Emily headed to the pool. I stayed in to make and return calls and messages. I am having trouble with the outgoing calls-I can’t make any. Text is working but that’s a pain when I need to make a call. I had to text my office to call someone in order to tell them to call me. It’s a pain.

I have managed to solve a few problems and kick the can down the road on a few more. It’s tough communicating from here.

Went out and hung out by the pool before dinner. Usual sit around and gab with not as much drinking as usual. The diver group was back from … diving. They had somehow eaten a late lunch at the sane place we ate lunch. Weird.

We managed to finally head out for dinner and only had to wait on a couple people (Steve). Off to dinner. In order to make Doriene happy we ate at Elvi’s Kitchen again. Variety is nice but my sister is loud and whiny. We went where she wanted to go. She had to have stone crab. That simple. Elvi’s is a very good restaurant but I would gladly have eaten elsewhere.

After dinner we went back to Atlantic Bank in order to try the ATM. Again. I have lost count of how many times and how many banks we went to today. I just follow along.

We did go get ice cream. Again. But I don’t find that repetitive because I love ice cream. Every day is good. And Paradice Cream is excellent ice cream. Twice a day would be ok.

The drive home was fun. Steve seems to believe we are in Monte Carlo at the Grand Prix. He stopped his cart to feed a stray dog. I ended up in front of him as we drove away. He decided on a full speed outside pass on a right turn. I actually drove up the curb and onto the sidewalk to avoid his colliding with me. Maybe he forgot he has two passengers and I had three. What a fucking wanker, to borrow one of his phrases. It fits him well. I drive cars fast and pass dangerously in one place, on the track. Most drivers out there know what they are doing because they are pros or seasoned drivers. Behavior such as Steve’s has no place on any city street. And these carts have zero safety features. Smooth moves, Stevie. It’s fortunate I don’t panic when I see stupid drivers making very questionable moves. To put it mildly.

We are going to go on a tour tomorrow to the caves. There is an underground river you can float around in using inner tubes. There are two other parts to the trip, a trip to the zoo and zip lining. Last time we were here I did the cave adventure. This time I want to try the zip lining and the zoo one more time.

It’s 7 am. I hate getting up early while on vacation. We have to meet Tony at 9am. He is taking us out on the ocean for snorkeling, fishing, rum punch, BBQ etc today. But u gotta get up early to go fishing. But it’s vacay and I prefer to sleep in. I also have to go to the phone hospital and visit my sick phone. As you recall, yesterday I took my phone for a dip in the ocean. Unintentional, it’s not like my phone was begging for it. I’m limping along with this substitute phone but I need mine back. Time to move.

So the phone store is not open at 8am. Posted hours 8-a-7p. What a surprise. I would say it’s “manana”except I’m in Belize. Maybe there is some equatorial thing that slows down time. There is a term I am sure but I don’t know it. Maybe “who gives a good god dann what time it is”. That would work. Or the island time mentality. Will try again in a few.

Big shout out to that asshole in room (can’t say). Took ALL the coffee from breakfast. Emptied the entire 25 cup percolator into his two enormous coffee cups. Asshole. Hey buddy, other people want coffee too. The term for a guy like this escapes me, asshole, but I will remember it eventually, selfish asshole. I had to wait 15 more minutes for coffee. I know, not so important to anger me and a wait does not anger me. The selfish asshole angers me. Dick.

Got back to the phone store at 830 and it was opening up. Owner says, have not opened the case yet. Don’t know. I will be back after fishing, thank you.

Tony and boat arrived at 9am promptly. His assistant Marco with him. Tony took us on a similar trip in 2013. He really is the man to see for fishing and snorkeling in Belize. We loaded up just after 9 and headed out. In fifteen minutes we were fishing. Mostly grunts and red snapper/yellow tail. The fish are very plentiful inside the reef. About an hours worth of fishing and we had enough to feed us lunch. Btw, I caught the biggest, a shark, about 25 lbs. We are not allowed to keep a shark so it never got on the boat. A catch and release moment. By sheer poundage, I caught the most fish. Yay team Bill.

We went for lobster next. About ten minute boat ride. We all got into the water and Marco dove down and opened their traps. That’s a piece of corrugated metal on top of cinder blocks on the bottom. It’s only ten feet deep. Then all the lobsters scurry and we had hooks on poles and spears. We got over twenty in the next hour. Lots of fun.

After catching enough for all of us times 2, we went to Shark Ray alley. This is a protected area of the reef so no fishing allowed. It’s home to the biggest and best rays, shark and other fish on the reef. The sharks actually swarm the boat

As you can see, sharks swarming the boat. It’s a Belizean Sharknado!!! You can also swim with them if you want but they do bite. They are wild, this is not Disneyland.

After shark week LIVE! we headed back to land. Tony has “privledges” at a beachside hotel and bar where he takes the days catch and makes lunch for us. It is my favorite part. We sat on the veranda with cool drinks while he cleaned them and cooked all of our catch. Cleaning the fish directly into the water attracts birds and rays and bonefish to eat all the crap.

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Everyone wants a piece. Tony took about an hour to clean and cook. He is one hell of a chef. Caribbean style lobster tail and lobster ceviche. Of course we had a fish stew as well. Served with fresh tortillas. Feast for the gods. And, besides me, the other mortals.

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A full day. The boat took everyone back to our hotel. My cart was there at the Seabreeze Suites parked out front. So Jodee and I carted back. More comfortable than the boat.

Time to head to the phone store and try my luck. Fingers crossed. OK. Someone out there did not cross their fingers. I got to the phone store and there was my phone, covered with butter and jam because my phone was TOAST. That’s correct, it is now a paperweight. Fuck it. I know where I will be on Saturday. That’s correct, I will be in the ATT store in Vacaville getting a new phone. Which I will probably have to pay for. F bomb. Sorry for the f bombs but it’s how I feel. Anyone out there have a hobby of collecting broken i Phones? I got one. Cheap. I need to move on. One more that’s the service tag on my phone. For those who can’t see it, the tag says “wet. Mr. Bill”, which will be the final insulting word in this debacle. Wait, this is historic. We need a name for it. Like the Battle of the Bulge. U know? How about “The Oxbow Incident”? That sounds good.

I was going to get a paleta while at the phone store. That’s a Mexican popsicle. But adding insult to injury the paleta store closed 10 minutes before I got there. F bomb. Now I will need to go out and procure ice cream on my own. Fortunately I can do procurement. Our feast today was quite filling and kind of late in the day. So I am thinking an early dessert and then bedtime for Bonzo and me too.

I am gonna cruise what passes for the internet here and see what I can find for dessert. Funny thing, or strange happenstance. Not sure which and maybe neither. But you know the place I got ice cream the other night? You know, out by the airport. Wait, you don’t remember either? We’re in trouble. Just kidding, my memory is fantastic. The place is called Paradice Ice Cream. Turns out they are number one in San Pedro and the whole caye for desserts according to Trip Advisor which is known as a very scholarly website for dessert rating. Or, at least, it should be. So I may have to go back to the #1 place and get more. It also happens to be the only place still open on the whole caye. So they would get me anyway. But I sound smarter and more well informed because I found them on my own. Am I right? Don’t answer that. I will wait to go till I find some common consent from the crowd aka those who lay around the pool and drink. Some are family, some friends. Almost all inebriates. Hey, when they’re conscious they’re great. Really.

So Jodee was out at the pool reading. She was all in for ice cream. She had been thinking it already. Great minds. Said we needed to take husband Steve too. So off we go late evening ice cream run. And none of us stoned. Well, not me. It’s a quick run to the corner just short of the airport and very little traffic this late on a Tuesday. I will save you the drama, there wasn’t any. I got strawberry, one scoop. In a cup. Less carbs that way. Jodee got the dirty nut(coconut with toasted coconut flakes) on a cone and Steve 3 scoops of blueberry cheesecake he’s a big guy. Steve did his usual make the kids behind the counter laugh thing. He is a frustrated comedian. Actually he might not be frustrated. Then off to the hotel. Not a thrills a minute trip so I hope to not disappoint. Though driving a golf cart as primary transport in a country paved in shit roads is truly thrills a minute. Just not for you readers. It’s difficult to give all the witty banter and driving excitement that goes along with a trip such as this. I’m more of a travelogue type of guy when writing about, well, travel. Kinda like Lowell Thomas (ask your parents, better ask your grandparents)used to be.

Needless to say, drove swiftly (the cart has a governor) back to Mata Rocks, finest hotel on the south side of Ambergris Caye. I ate my ice cream with skill and vigor, which befits a man with my advanced level of ice cream consumption experience. For those of you unfamiliar with such vocabulary, I ate like a pig.

I am going to read for awhile then go to sleep. Big day tomorrow, nothing is planned. It gives me goosebumps.

I am getting settled in well here. It always takes a little time to really feel at home. Get used to the sights and sounds, remind yourself where you are going and how to get there. Something my sister never figures out. She’s an idiot.

The shower was again not hot enough. I do love staying here but that shower sucks, once a day. But I can soldier through it.

I went down to the outdoor bar for breakfast and was greeted by some very good news- Steve went to town early to the bakery and got fresh made cinnamon rolls. A little taste of heaven with cream cheese frosting. Nice. Makes the day start oh so well. I have been to that bakery but not since 2013. Run by an Irish guy or so I hear. I may have to go back for something else though I don’t get up as early as Steve does. I remember they run out of everything later in the day. Like most bakerys I guess.

I am not sitting around today. There is a plan to go to Secret Beach. Or as we call it, Not so Secret Beach. Can’t wait. We have to cross the bridge and drive 45 mins into the north side of the island. This qualifies as an adventure.

Hey Marika, I was looking at a map of Belize and there is a Punta Gorda to the south! I can be sure it is not as good as the Lost Coast. And no sea elephants.

Anyhow, I think we are getting ready, it’s 910 and I think time to go. Just a little sunscreen and we could be off. I have not gone farther north than the prior site of the palapa bar. Which seems to have lost its mojo when it was moved. Too bad.

Secret Beach is supposed to be the nicest beach on the caye. Turquoise water, waist deep to the reef, blah blah. Another Caribbean paradise. Couple of bars, cuz no alcohol is no fun. A restaurant too. In a few years it will probably all be shit. So it goes with all nice spots in the world. They are eventually over run by tourists. Like me. Eventually all places will be accessible for us to destroy. I can hardly wait.

The trip to Secret Beach was adventurous, though nothing really happened. The adventure part is the road surface. It’s crap. But, there has been drastic improvement in the roads north of the toll bridge. Which is how you get to secret beach. The road past the bridge has been paved for about two miles. What a treat. The rest of the 7 mile trip is unpaved, holey, dirt roads and they are crap. Slow driving, weaving around obstacles, loving it.

Secret Beach is quite stunning. Turquoise waters to the horizon, 3 bars, food, lots of activity, shallow warm water. It’s a Caribbean thing, you wouldn’t understand.

First thing, I went swimming, with my phone in my pocket. So that means no pictures. And no phone. Fuck. Never done it before, and I do hope never again.

Those photos above are courtesy of my sister since all photos in my phone were washed away by the Caribbean.

We spent several hours hanging at Secret Beach. The girls kept drinking whereas Steve and I did not. So they got drunk. I did not. We went swimming as well, what else do you do at a beach? Strange thing happened there, we met a young couple from southern Maine. By young I mean 25 and 21. And you won’t forget how old he was because he said he was 25 about 15 or 20 times. Stephen and Britany. They were from a town just north of the New Hampshire border. On their honeymoon. They hung out with us for a while drinking and swimming. Steve seemed to enjoy making fun of Stephen and commenting on Brittanys hotness. Way to go Steve! Really, the guy was really slow mentally and had obviously married up. No worry. Vacation is for meeting new people. And messing with them to entertain yourself. Anyhow, we decided to hear back and hit a couple bars in the way.

So the way back. Five miles of crap roads with my drunk sister in the back facing seat and my increasingly drunk passenger next to me. We decided we were going to stop at some bar or other on the way. Their are bars everywhere. Everywhere. On the way out, it’s a five mile drive on those crappy roads and the cart does not go faster than a bicycle. So a mile down the road I hear my drunk sister yelling ” I lost my shoe I lost my shoe!” I come to a stop and she is hobbling back down the road the way we came to get her shoe, about 50 yards. And the road is a lot of coral and quite sharp and she is drunk and falling down and laughing. And the other two carts are disappearing into the distance. I got out and had to help her get up and walk back to the cart while she complained that her foot hurt. Whiner. Got her in and we got going. Half mile later we actually were able to pass three bicycles. And 100 yards later, sister again “I lost my shoe!!” Did I mention she was drinking? Stop again and she’s off after her shoe and one of the bike riders comes riding up to her with her shoe. And she tries to get a ride from him. Did I mention she is drunk? I had to get out and go get her and her sandal was broken which she told me three times. I had to pull her to the cart and load her up. Yes, drunk sister is fun. So, we go another half mile or so and “I lost my hat, I lost my hat!!” Jesus Christ. She must have jumped off the cart because when I stopped and got out she had her hat and was lying on her back in the road laughing. And me with no fucking camera cause I took it in the ocean. Boy did I want a camera. She also has cut up her arm. I seriously had to assist her up and into the cart. I thought about tying her into the cart. She is drunk. Ok off again. Half mile, no shit, “I lost my hat!!” Good news, it had fallen off her head and was sitting on the back of the seat. We pointed this out and took the hat away from her. Can’t lose it now. Half mile later “I lost my hat!!” We told her we have your hat and she calmed down. Now I gotta ask, did I say she was drunk? So we managed to get to the main road without further issues. Sister laid down in the back. I held her phone and shoes. We got to the next bar where she was revived by a cool drink. Pour alcohol on a fire. We had some food too which is probably a help for the drinkers. Brittany and Stephen had come along as well. People do love alcohol. All the girls had drinks, even my sister. Hey, she’s an adult. We were there an hour and headed out, saying bye bye to the two Mainers.

When we got back Jodie and I went straight to the phone store. She’s an IT professional and quite handy. THe phone store is right across the street from the hotel. The gal in the store swapped my SIM card into someone’s spare phone. So now I have a phone and can take pictures. And stuff. Important stuff. Our fishing trip is tomorrow. That needs to be recorded and pictured. I am going back to the phone hospital tomorrow at 8 to check on my wet phone. Please think good thoughts for my phone.

Came back from the store and went to the usual gathering spot out by the pool. Two of Vince’s dive clients had just flown in. I don’t think they are going fishing with us. Anyway, they are here to dive with Vince. He is a diving instructor.

In the time I was at the phone store my sister managed to sober up some. She and Julie made pico de Gallo and nachos. Both were delicious. What surprises me is my sisters ability to go from falling down (in the road) drunk to able to function so damn fast.

Once we had finished eating, my sister and Julie decided to head next door for martini Monday and maybe more food. She is an adult so it’s ok. I decided to go to bed. I had enough to eat and I am tired. It’s especially tiring to take care of my sister and wash my phone in the ocean all in one day.

Another great nights sleep. 10+ hours. Eat your hearts out, suckers. Or don’t. This place is conducive to rest and relaxation, I guess.

I managed to get a warm shower today. What I need is someone to get in and run the water till it gets warm, 5 mins, so I can have a warm shower. Guess I am out of luck.

Down to breakfast and they are out of coffee. I did ring the service bell but it does not seem to do anything. I found the manager and she seemed hard pressed to believe they were out of coffee. Nice lady. I offered to go make the coffe if she was busy. She thought that an awful idea. Obviously she does not understand my coffee skills. But it did goose her into action. So everyone can relax, I got my coffee.

It is really quiet today, it’s Sunday. There was no one at breakfast when I got there. But “the gal from Chicago” showed up and we had a nice conversation for about an hour. I have forgotten her name, the previous sentence. She is originally from Venezuela, went to beauty school there, ended up in the mortgage business in Chicago. Takes a lot of trips to the Caribbean, her best friend is from Curaçao but now lives in Aruba. We discussed where I’m from in California and I helped to explain the geography to her. North va South, what our beaches are like, Sierras etc. Small hotels where you are pushed together at meals kinda get the conversation started.

After this, my sister wanted to go out to breakfast. She did not eat at the hotel. So I went out for breakfast #2.

The place we ate at, La Divina, we had been too last time we were here. They have remodeled and expanded. It’s nicer but the cozy charm is not there. It was and is a small grocery that makes meals as well. Sit down area, very nice, with waiters. But attached to a grocer. I had a fried jack filled with beans and eggs. A jack is a plate size, oil fried, so it’s puffy, tortilla. Sound good? It’s great. I could not eat it all, this is breakfast 2.

I had a sudden and urgent need to leave the restaurant and head back to the hotel. So I left sissy and got moving. I made it back quickly, it’s only two blocks away. And you will be glad to know I am fine. Everything came out ok in the end.

I am not sitting around today. Everyone else, who did not go diving, is just sitting around. So, time for management decision, I am going to town to walk around or hang out or whatever. I need to move a little. What happened? Everyone else is now going with me.

Doriene, Steve, Jodie and I headed into the town of San Pedro and I parked. We are going to walk all over. Steve came up with a nice competitive game. Find something, no more than 5$ BZ, that is a souvenir and completely without any use whatsoever. So the hunt is on. Steve found a plastic seashell with a candle in it for three $. So far its in the lead. Even though souvenirs are junk, they often have a use. So if it’s functional, it loses. We will see.

That’s what the center of town looks like. Very Caribbean.

I found a 5$ wooden worm. No function at all. And ugly. I would call it over priced, no function, souvenir. What do you think? Worthless? I hope so.

I do like wandering through San Pedro. Of course, I like long walks and hiking. I have a very hard time surrounded by around a pool with nothing to do but sit and bullshit and drink cocktails. That has its place, but not really for me. I will be heading down to the pool in a moment to make cocktails. That works. Keeps me busy and off the streets. It’s four o’clock now, the cocktail hour has arrived. Of course, on vacay, it’s always happy hour. Or so I hear. I don’t drink.

We are in the early evening hours here. Nice part of the day. The temp drops and the sea breeze kicks up. THe heat goes away. Beautiful. I bet the people on that sail boat are doing fine. I think I would be. A visitor – Its a blue egret.

So I spent a little internet time and found a truly excellent place for dinner. Best so far this trip and really cheap. Which is also great. We drove all the way through town out to the other side of the caye. We still got lost. A delivery guy from a pizza place, on a bike, took pity on us and led us and our carts to the restaurant.

Mostly a seafood place. Very small. The owner waited on us so was very available to help with choices of whatbto order. Nice guy, lots to say. And excellent service. And man was it inexpensive. He said if we come back he will give a discount. Ok with me.

After dinner we went for ice cream. All these ice cream stores make their own ice cream. And it’s excellent everywhere. I had a cup of Horchata ice cream. Die and go to heaven good. I chose wisely. I do love ice cream. This stuff is as good as Giffords in Maine. Which is the highest praise I can give to ice cream.

We are back at the hotel. Doing the usual, sitting around the pool and yakking. And smoking, not weed, and drinking. An end to a vacay day. Hard work going on here.

Beautiful day. Gonna be a high of 83 and a low of 80.

I slept till 8 which was 11 hours or so. I feel…tired. Breakfast at the outdoor bar till 930. Coffee, fresh juice, coffee, Mexican pastries (love them!), sliced fruit, toast. At the bar. If someone is manning the bar you can get a cocktail too. I’m not drinking. The coffee is very good. It was no typo I mentioned it twice. After breakfast I sat around and chatted with whoever was sitting around. Very chummy, party like vibe at breakfast. It feels like being out for a drink. In the am. With food. I do like this hotels style. Probably why we came back. Seems like a boutique hotel though it’s not. No more than 12 rooms so you can meet everyone.

Back to the room and get a shower. I have been assigned the duty of calling Tony. We met him in 2013. He has a boat and he took us snorkeling and fishing for the day. Then we went to a local ocean front hotel and drank while Tony BBQd our catch. Then we ate a lot of fish. Because we caught a ton. And he does this trip for $300 for eight people. Which is real cheap. That crowd usually costs over $1000. So I’m glad I met him. Wayo, a bar and hotel owner here, introduced me. Wayo has a dive shop too. Jack of all trades. His business partner is from Sacramento. Back in 2013, we met in his bar.

Wayo has a hotel next door to his outdoor bar which is right on the beach in the middle of San Pedro. That’s the only town on the caye. I met him cuz I noticed he had a washers set in his bar. Washers is a game where you toss large washers at flat board with concentric cups, each cup larger with a lower score. I told him I played, which I have, he got the game out and I beat his ass. Probably helps him remember who we are. After this long time. And Vincent is going to book a dive trip through him. That really helps. Spend money or humiliate him in a home game. Both help.

I have the day planned. I ate. I showered. Now I plan on hanging out all day. Maybe dinner out. Maybe not. Or I may need to do something in order to have bloggable material. No real planned plans. KnowhatImean? U do.

My friend Bob Hardy just called. Checking in from Sacramento. We had a nice chat about things. Bob helped me get rid of my Pitney Bowes postage meter and put me in a Hasler machine. He works at IME in Sacramento. He knows everything about postage meters and office automation. He did check up on mine while on the phone. Their service is far better than Pitney.

Also managed to get my payroll done. Was having problems and had to switch browsers to Firefox to get it finished. I don’t get technology but I can troubleshoot.

So got all done with work related tasks. Which don’t really interfere with anything. Some calls are all about calming people down. Just a quick touch. The psychology side of accounting.

I am sitting, now,in the shade by the pool trying to enjoy the day. It’s tough as you can see. I am going to the Super Mercado and the juice stand with my sister. She needs to have an eye kept on her. I have been doing it for years. She is lucky to have me.

Juice lady was not there. Not one of he other employees, four of em, knew how much to charge. So they would not sell us any. Morons. We did manage to hit the market for liquor and mixers and limes. Stick to what’s important.

Back to hotel and what do I do? Make drinks. I thought that was clear. So we sat at the pool ate snacks and drank. Then someone said, “let’s go to the palapa bar”. Where we can sit drink and eat snacks. ??. No we are doing same somewhere else. See:
The palapa bar used to be two miles farther north. So two years ago they dismantled it and moved it down the beach. Why I don’t know. They did raise their prices.

After Palapa we moved to Wayo’s, about 300 yards away. I met Wayo backnin 2013. We frequented his bar on that trip. By frequent I mean we went in it every day. He has upgraded and built a small hotel next to his bar. Mostly a divers hotel, so it’s booked all the time. He has games which is probably why we like it so much. Washers and Corn Hole are two favorites. And Wayo is just friendly a friendly guy. His place feels small town. Which is where I am from and live.

After a couple games we left and went to the fruit juice place. The old lady was back so we were able to get watermelon and pineapple juice for cocktails.

Back to the hotel. I am making cocktails for all. If you read the Maine blogs you understand. It’s my job. But I like it.

So we sat around the pool and had drinks for a couple hours. Sitting and talking and drinking. My sisters three favorite things. But not in that order.

After which we went to oldest restaurant in San Pedro for dinner. Elvi’s Kitchen. They brought the beach into the restaurant, there is sand all over the floor. I have been before and food is still great. Some of the places we went back in 2013 are gone. Sad. I shared a plate of fish tacos with Emily. Everybody else got a wide variety of different things. And all were raving about the meal. I am pretty happy with the standard chicken beans rice they sell everywhere. Belizean food.

We are back at the hotel. I thought everyone was going to bed but some are still hanging at the pool. My sister was sleeping at dinner. Drinking all day can do that to you. And she drank all day. Most of us did. Except for me and Steve and Vincent.

It’s Friday. I am still freezing in Miami and will be for another two + hours. I am doing what what travellers have been doing since time began. Charging my cell phone and blogging. I found a rather not so nice spot to get some juice. There is a chair to sit in so I can consider myself lucky.

I am trying to recreate the last fifteen minutes of blogging. Fucking Miami airport is freezing. And I hate it. And the wi fi does not exist. So I lost all my work for the last fifteen minutes. Sink Florida into the Atlantic. No one cares. I hate this place.

I have switched places to a charging station at my gate. The last flight left and freed up space. Fortunately there is an AC outlet blowing on me so I can stay extra cold while charging. I hate this place. Just sayin. There are no exciting pictures in an airport. None. Lots of tired people, suitcases and bored workers. Woo hoo! I need to leave Miami. Dear God, I will be a nice boy forever if you can get me to my destination sooner. Please.

I will abandon my phone and charger and go to Starbucks. Saw one on my walk here. I need hot coffee to dip my fingers in so I can continue to type. It’s all that is keeping me sane. And, today, it’s hot coffee I need. Love ice coffee but I fear it would freeze solid before I was able to drink it. I will save ice coffee for Belize City or San Pedro. I can already imagine being there. The AC is not set on polar, like here.

Airports are good for people watching at least. Of course you are not supposed to stare. You have to be kind of coy about it and never get caught. If you can pull it off it’s a regular freak show. I mean American Horror Story like freaks. And the outfits these folks wear, I mean did they get dressed in the dark? Someone needs to tell their moms to not dress them that way. The guy in front of me works out. Shirt has cut sleeves. Workout pants. Athletic shoes. Hey, buddy, you are flying on an airplane. No gym here. Hair is dyed black cuz he is vain and 70 years old. Fooling no one. I would love to take a picture but privacy, you know. I wonder how many people look at me and think “what a weirdo”? None! I thought you were my friends. All the “other” people are freaks. Sheesh.

Another freak sat down across from me. He is openly staring at everyone. Creeper. Watch your children. Strange, but you never know.

I am 1:30 away from departure. Leave Miami behind. My return trip goes through Houston. Which, by the way, is a lot like Miami but they don’t freeze you out. Houston is really a slum for the most part. Not a nice city, even in the fancy downtown. I have spent way too much time in Houston and I am glad I don’t go anymore. The Woodlands, 20 or so miles away from Houston, is a beautiful place. Especially being next to Houston which makes it even prettier. Of course, when traveling you never leave the airport. So I won’t be enjoying the sights.

One hour to departure. 30 mins to boarding, though I am group 8 and board last. The privledge of the infrequent traveler. These are assigned seats so it hardly matters. But it is really fun to watch people line up like it’s festival seating at a concert. I do not get that. Reminds me of driving in traffic and another driver has to pass you as if it will actually do them any good. This is why I live far from other people. So I don’t shoot them. Just kidding.

Well I made it to Belize. Kind of a let down. Worked my way through customs easily. Unlike last time when bro in law Vince had a clip full of ammo in his bag he forgot about. Oops. They wanted to put him in jail for seven days. Dumb ass. We all quickly exited customs when they stopped him. This time he was not an idiot. He can learn new things.

My plane arrived 30 mins later than scheduled. I was supposed to be in before my sister Dorienes group arrived. But they beat us into town. So I could not greet them at the gate as they arrived. But they were surprised when I tapped my sister on the shoulder.

I had told no one wI was coming. That’s my sister Dorie standing facing the camera, the blond seated behind her is Jodie Jewell. And some of the others.

There is a 15 min flight from here, Belize City, to the Caye. A caye is like an island. The “airline” misplaced three bags on the trip. Are you f…ing kidding? They said they would have them in twenty minutes. And magically they found them. From the plane:

You cam also see how small the plane is.

So now we are in the process of trying to rent golf carts. Primary transport here. The import duty on cars is murder. So few cars. Whereas the duty on golf carts is only manslaughter. Lol. The carts have really rough suspension. And the streets are full of speed bumps and drainage ditches. And a lot of the streets are cobblestone. So the rides are not smooth at all. At night you can miss these hazards because the headlights are dim. Adds to the fun. And my eyesight sucks besides. We managed three carts for a week and negotiated a good price with insurance included.

Steve, Vincent and I stayed behind to handle the rentals. The rest of the crew went to the Mata Rocks hotel and checked in. My room:

We drove the carts back to he hotel with minimal issues. It’s real damn hot here. I can use some lunch. And a cool drink and a swim. In the ocean.

I went with Steve and Vincent to get chicken, rice and beans. Belize national dish. I’m hungry too. Then I am going to have a nap.

Three hour nap and I still feel like poop. But I got some sleep. The power went out today and the AC was not working. So I napped in a sauna, basically.

When I got up I had to return half a dozen phone calls. No one is honoring m vacay. Of course, no one knew.

Julie wanted to eat dinner, it is already seven pm. So we walked next door. Her husband Kevin and my sissie went along. I ordered chicken, rice and beans for the second time today. Traditional Belize meal. I like it. I had a really punch too. National drink of Belize.

After dinner we went back to the hotel and went to bed.

Almost forgot. You will never know the players without a program. So, Doriene (Dorie) and Vincent (don’t call him Vince!) my sister and bro in law from Huntington Beach; Steve and Jodie Jewell from Georgia she is my sissy’s co worker and friend and he is the permanent plus one; Kevin and Julie friends and neighbors of Dorie; and last your narrator, third wheel, me. Good night.

The morning is quite normal. Emily’s plane leaves after dinner so she went to work. I am going to Belize (surprise) and have a red eye about same time as Emily does. We can share a ride to the airport. We will both have fun though I believe I have more of a potential for such. My sister and her friends are going to Belize and arrive about 10 minutes after me. I hope to greet them at the gate. They do not know I am coming. I think this is a nice surprise. Can’t wait to see the response. It will be glorious.

So I went to work. Not early again. But, I had to go. The client from Tuesday, you may remember, was coming back to sign up for a major tax plan. Or not. Well, I met him at 1030. He complained more. Just like Tuesday. Then he signed on the dotted line of the engagement letter. And signed on th line on a check. Yay. After 18 months of dancing around the planning he has committed. And 18 months of pissing and moaning too. I have incredible patience. I amaze myself. But, this is proof of the saying patience is a virtue. And hard work is its own reward. Though I will get paid. After taking care of this, I went home.

I stopped at the post office. I am trying to find a shipment sent from Poland. There is no electronic tracking of packages from Poland. I had to go old school and ask a postal clerk for a manual search. Turns out the clerk found it. Returned to Poland for insufficient address. No Polish jokes allowed here. Though they would be fitting. And insensitive. And most likely funny. I went home and emailed the company and gave them my address. Again. We can only hope.

So I’m home. What are we doing? Cleaning the house. Emily’s idea of pre trip fun. Isabella will be living here while we are gone. She used to work at Pet Smart and she is taking care of our geriatric crew of pets. Isabella is the same age as Marika and is an old friend of hers. We have known her since they were in grade school together. So we are cleaning for her. The house ended up spotless. No shock there. I also had time to clean my car, inside and out. And wax it (hey, I left work real early). Then Emily said I am driving us to the airport. And leaving this newly cleaned car in long term parking. Where it will get dirty. Pain in the rear.

We left for the airport at about 515. We did park in long term parking and a bus showed up immediately. We split up at terminal A. Emily to Maine. Me to paradise. When I got to the terminal I found out the usual, plane will be late. American Airlines at its best. My buddy Doug flies for them. I need to call him and complain. It really has little effect on us. The pilot put the pedal down and we made good time. I got to my gate by 930 for an 1140 take off. Plenty of time. I have a bag of snacks so I made a dinner of salami and cheese and Parmesan crisps which I dumped on the floor. Not on purpose. Satisfying and delicious. Emily packed the food.

So here I sit. Waiting for 1140. Phoenix airport is very boring on a Thursday night. Glad I brought food because all the vendors are closed. All I can do is read or stare into space or sleep. I will stay awake so I can keep an eye on my stuff and not miss my flight. Seems like a good idea.

They just called the flight. I will be boarding soon-ish. I am in boarding group eight, back of the plane, so I go on last. Makes no sense. Why not board back to front. Seems faster.

I am in the back, in the dark, in a center seat. I hate all those things. I like an aisle seat near an exit. But last minute, and cheap, tickets come with sacrifices. I would like to go to the restroom but I’m blocked by the drink cart and the lady in the aisle seat. And she is asleep. I should get the aisle just because I get up three times a night to go to the bathroom. Four more hours to get to Miami. Plane travel really does suck. I need the time and money to be able to go by ship. I like that idea. I would have to go South around the Cape to go to Maine. The trip would be an adventure. I can dream.

Please, dear God, get me to Miami soon. Safe and sound as well. Thank you. There was some horrendous turbulence on takeoff and for 15 minutes as the plane climbed out of Phoenix. To my benefit, I did not throw up. Or cry. I held on very tightly. I think it helps. Helps me. When I was a kid I loved all things air travel. But as I have gotten older all that has been replaced by worry. And I have come to loathe what I used to love. I thinks it’s actually quite sad.

Another thing to love about sitting in a metal tube hurtling through space with a hundred strangers is the air. Or, the recycled air, inside the plane. Lots of nice airborne viruses are available for you to pick up. The gal next to me was sneezing for the last hour of the flight. Great. Hey, lady, if you’re sick go to the hospital. Don’t go to the airport and share your nice germs. This is not the kind of sharing we learned about in kindergarten. I have picked up my share of germs from plane flights. At least I believe I did. Sometimes there is too much coincidence for it to be a coincidence. I am hoping the gal next to me was not sick. There was a strange and strong odor in the back of the plane. Could have irritated her nose. Or maybe she stank. I’m off the plane so I’m past caring too much.

Miami airport is cold as hell. I don’t like it. It’s 86 outside here and 40 in the terminal. Ok, I exaggerate. It’s 50.

So I have rolled yesterday into today. I gotta end this here. And restart

Before I go, on a travel adventure, I have sooo much to do. Where am I going. Not sure yet where or if. Decide and buy a ticket. Emily is off to Maine. At least someone knows what they are doing. Although, I admit, not knowing is cool too. Everyone likes a good mystery.

Today I know what I’m doing. Wednesday is weigh in. 155.2 which is +1.4 from last week. Remember what I did last weekend? Rich food and liquor. I understand that can be detrimental to a weight loss program. Oh well. Birthdays are once a year. So are celebrations.

I have been trying to contact my cousin Pancho. He lives in Mexico City which had the 8+ earthquake this past week. He is not answering his cell. So I have a theory. Cell towers collapsed. Electricity out. Roads torn through. Or a building fell on him like in Oz. Hard to say. I am holding out for something positive. Good news! Just got a text from Princess Pancho, all is good in the hood! His neighborhood had some power outages but no major damage. Daughter Rebeca’s school had minor damage. Wife Kristin was at work, minor damage. Around the City, not so lucky but I am glad the family is safe. They just moved back this year. Welcome!

The pest guy just showed up. He is checking on the rats and ground squirrels. We have lots of both. Rats in the house and squirrels under. What fun. I want them all dead. Way dead. I would love to poison them but I have pets. Pets are stupid and eat poison. The pest man found no rats in the traps he set last week. He is re doing them now.

Got off to work finally. No matter how hard I try I can’t get there early. I did get in before 11.

No one came to see me today. I like that. I don’t have to perform. Very few phone calls as well. I spent the day writing letters to our friends in government revenue. I hate them and I hate writing letters to them. But they insist on sending notices to my clients. And I have to respond. I managed to finish a couple tax returns and clean my desk up a bit too. A BIG shout out to Cara, my employee, she cleaned her desk!!!!! I did not faint. That would not be prudent. Lol Cara.

Ok. So tonight we are packing Emily’s suitcase for her trip. Departure is at 730 pm tomorrow. A semi red eye. That helps with the cost but you do have to fly all night. Emily started her packing by cleaning out the fridge. Don’t ask. The suitcase will probably be last. I don’t understand either.

We interrupted packing to eat dinner. I made a chopped salad with sautéed chicken on top. Eggs, veggies, feta, craisins, etc. Man was it awesome. Pat me on the back and congratulate me on it next time you see me. It’s also low in cals and carbs. Win win baby!

Back to packing. If we both leave, Isabella will watch the house. So Emily is writing instructions to her now. Just in case. Like I said, suitcase is last. She is writing her a book.

I started packing. If Emily had not stopped me at one point I could have been faster. It took me 9:14 to pack. I am fast. Way fast. But then over the next hour I had to add an item here and there. Because I forget. But all done now. Emily did not pack yet. She will do it last minute. That’s her thing.

By the way, I am packing in case I decide to go somewhere. Ifnyoubwere wondering. My bag is next to the door. I could go to Maine if I wanted though I have no tickets. I am still deciding. I have all the time in the world.